While I sit on my sofa in the sunroom, I focus on a groove in Canfield Mountain where clouds nestle among the pines. It reminds me of the Alps in Switzerland and Austria, but I don’t linger on the thought, not wanting past feelings or memories to disturb the calmness I am feeling now. All my life, I have sought a journey of self-realization and happiness. A great teacher has been my sister, a life coach, and astrologer, and more recently I was touched by Michael A. Singer, author of The Untethered Soul . . . the journey beyond yourself. As I read, I constantly hear of freedom blocked by disturbances from my past or thoughts toward my future. As I turn the pages, determined to understand myself better, I see more clearly how easily I’ve blocked this freedom by not solving the root cause of disturbances that appear from some conscious object that my thoughts and feelings can identify. My chatty mind pulls me into memories that are better forgotten, like when my Italian mother shut me out of her life when I didn't defend her opinion or agree with her thoughts. I always loved her and the wisdom she gave me. She was a teacher, artist, linguist, gourmet cook, and homemaker. Her dilemma was that she lived in the past and created disturbances when there was too much happiness. Disturbances fueled her and gave her a feeling of false control. I ask myself why I keep remembering sadness and torturing myself by reliving it when the present holds beauty and joy.
As I continue reading Michael Singer’s book, I discover it all comes down to the flow of energy that runs through all of us. Why block this beautiful energy with unresolved memories and problems from our past or with happy memories we cling to because they make us feel good? I never thought about the happy ones, but if we cling to them, they also create blocks that don’t let us move forward. We must allow life experiences to come in and pass through us without resisting and clinging. Michael Singer said, “A wise person remains centered enough to let go every time the energy shifts into a defensive mode. The moment the energy moves, and you feel your consciousness start to get drawn into it, you relax and release. Letting go means falling behind the energy instead of going into it. It just takes a moment of a conscious effort to decide that you’re not going there. You just let go. Awareness does not fight; awareness releases. Awareness is simply aware while everything in the universe parades before it.”
The gift of healing myself allows that beautiful flow of energy that runs through me to expand and become a healing light to all those around me without words or actions. May this month of January and throughout the new year, fill your lives with blessings, the strength to let go of what no longer serves you, and the joy of living in the moment.