The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

A dear friend said to me as we shared heartbreaking moments that we have both experienced, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”  After our conversation, I couldn’t shake the well-known proverb or aphorism. Curious about the phrase, I looked up its common meaning, which basically stated that wrongdoings or evil actions are often undertaken with good intentions, or that good intentions, when acted upon, often create bad consequences. I’m not interested in the interpretation of individuals who fail to follow through with their good intentions.

That is not me, but what knotted my gut was thinking about the effort and time I have put into good intentions with the sincere hope and love that I could make a difference, but the truth is, my intentions had no power or influence on another person unless they were open to receiving it and willing to make the changes necessary to improve their life choices. How blind I have been with good intentions. How easily I have blocked the clarity of what needs to be seen. 

I love these moments of self-reflection. As I get older, I welcome the cold chill of reality. It awakens me to see life’s choices clearly. Baby steps in another direction with old patterns that repeat themselves is not a change. What I didn’t see was that the more I helped, the more hell and heartbreak I created for myself.  My good intentions belonged to me. They were mine, and the receiver had a choice to value their wisdom or use them selfishly in a web of bad intentions that eventually led to their own hell.

This realization is a wonderful reminder that I need to shift my mindset of fixing everyone else’s problems to prioritizing my own health and growth, and most importantly, seeing it as a non-selfish act. Sometimes the only way we learn is when we fall and find the strength and faith to pick ourselves up and start again.